Happy Birthday Maddy!!!!

Our Little Girl is 2!!!!!

Saturday we went to the feed store to pick out Maddy's birthday ducklings! Will and Josh came with us too and they thought it was so neat when they saw them. Maddy got so excited and was saying, "Duck-duck!!!" Which is what she calls them, it's never just duck it's always, "Duck-duck!" We let each of the kids pick out which duckling they wanted. Will picked out black one and named it Quackers. Josh picked out a yellow one and named it Pip. And Maddy picked out the duckling that was black and yellow and named it Ming-Ming! They were all so adorable!

Sunday was Maddy's birthday. I woke her up early so that she would go down for her nap early and up in time for the party. We spent the morning getting everything ready and at 3:00 everyone started arriving. Everything went so perfectly

Playing the duck-floating game. They picked up a ducky and got a prize for the number on the bottom!

Decorate your own duck. These little ducks are from oriental trading. They were solid white and the kids decorated them.

Party favors and decorations!

Thinking of you....

http://www.hopecollage.org/

So I have been having a harder time this past week feeling down, missing our little Tyler. I am not sure why, maybe it's because I am planning all the fun things for Maddy's party which I love doing and it reminds me of what I am missing with Tyler, but it just seems lately everything reminds me of him, even more than usual..... I know that everyone says grief is like that, you have good days, ok days, and bad days...

A few days ago I was at my Mom's house during Maddy's nap. I was in the laundry room shredding papers when out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the wall. I looked closer and remembered what it was. It was where my Mom marks the height of the grand kids as they grow older starting when they are about 2. There on the wall was Will's heights, and Josh's and in just a few short weeks Maddy's will be up there too... but I immediately thought that Tyler was missing. It's traditions like this that I love so much and are so special that are just so hard for me. I sat staring at the wall imagining what Tyler would look like right now. Would he be tall like Maddy? Would he have Daddy's red hair? Would he play ball with my Dad like Will and Josh do? I wish I could just have a glimpse of him, just one more moment holding him and telling him how much I love him. Just one more moment....

It's funny how things work I came home and was talking to Matt and then came on the computer and saw that Tyler's collage had been posted! I was so excited and it lifted my spirits a bit! I came across this website that makes collages for parents that has lost a child, you choose what words you want on the collage and you can send them a picture of your child's footprints or hand prints too and they will make a collage. Isn't it beautiful??? I just LOVE it! And I LOVE that it is Tyler's actually footprint! I think I am going to get it printed and framed.

Party planning!

I cannot beleive that our little girl is going to be 2 in just a few weeks!!!! It seems like just yesterday we were seeing her precious little face for the very first time and now she is this wonderful little girl with a personality all her own that we just adore! I have begun to get into party planning mode! We decided on a duck theme this year because Maddy LOVES ducks! One of her favorite things to do is go to the park and feed the ducks, she get's so excited so we thought this would be the perfect theme and cute too!

We are going to have her party at our house and we are going to have 4 real ducklings here for the kids to pet!!!! Supervised of course! I cant wait to see Maddy's face when she sees real ducklings at her own house in the backyard! Yay!!! We are going with a yellow and white polka dot print for the plates and decor as well as rubber ducks. We're going to have a craft table where they decorate little flat wooden ducks with feathers and it will have a magnet on the back so it can go on the fridge. I also went on oriental trading.com and found these rubber ducks that are "create your own" so everyone at the party can decorate their very own rubber ducky! For the party favors I am bought silver galvanized pails to put duck themed items in along with fake-like grass at the bottom for a farm like feel and the cupcakes are going to be little bubbles with a mini ducky on top! I am so excited I cant wait!

Feeling MUCH better!

Painting and dancing at Aunt Bekah's with my Joshy~

So Maddy is feeling so much better! She is completely off the breathing treatments now and is back to her happy energetic self! Here's a few pics from my iphone. Which by the way yes, I just recently got an iphone and I LOVE it!!!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!

Maddy's Valentines Card! photo's and card by Kelli www.kellicarpenter.com

What a great Valentines Day we had! Matt had to work during the day so Maddy and I had a lazy morning at home! We played in the playroom and cuddled in Mommy and Daddy's bed with Barkley, something that Maddy LOVES to do!

Next we went outside to get some fresh air and I put a little red dress on Maddy that used to be mine when I was Maddy's age! It's a very special dress because my Aunt Sandi actually made it for me! Of course I had to take some pics of Maddy with it on! My Mom and I when I was little! My little sweetie!

Then my parents stopped over and brought Maddy's little Valentine's Day tin with goodies in it! They also have one that they bought in memory of Tyler that has Snoopy on it. I love that they always remember Tyler on Valentines Day and all the time! Then Maddy went down for her nap and Matt came home from work with flowers for me- gerber daisies which are my favorite!!!!

A bit later I headed over to my friend Jeanna's house where she did my hair and make up for dinner. Matt took Maddy to his Mom's house and she watched her while we went out to dinner at a restruant called River City Brewing Company.View from the restraunt

It's a seafood and steakhouse and it's right on the river. We went with my sister and husband and some friends and had so much fun! Dinner was delicious even though the service wasn't the greatest! And we laughed most the whole way trough dinner! Then we picked up Maddy and came home to get ready for bed. The best part of my Valentines Day was just being able to spend it with Matt and Mad's! Thinking of Tyler today, hope you felt Mommy's love today and everyday little man!

Trip to the ER

This week has been pretty hard. Maddy began showing signs of a little cold on Monday. She just had a small cough and a runny nose. On Wednesday when I dropped her off at my Mom's house before going to work I noticed that she was starting to sound a little bit wheezy. I told my Mom that she was probably going to need a breathing treatment. I talked to my Mom later in the day and she said that her breathing seemed heavy and she was still wheezing so she had been giving her breathing treatments, she had my Aunt Sandi come over to look at her (she's an RN) and she said that I should probably take her into the doctor when I got off work. I called the doctor, left work a little early and headed to pick her up and take her to the pediatrician.

When I got there she had gotten worse and by the time we got into the room at the pediatricians office her breathing was really bad. When the nurse came in I told her that I thought Maddy was going to need a breathing treatment now-before waiting for the doctor to come in because she was breathing really hard. She said ok went and got the pulse ox thing for her finger. She slipped it on her finger and a few seconds later left the room very quickly saying, "I'm going to go get the doctor" Next thing we know Dr. Benitiz is flying into the room and hooking Maddy up to oxygen through a nasal canula and giving her a nebulizer treatment at the same time. I was scared to death. I knew that it wasn't good, the doctor and 2 nurses were running around getting everything set up and I was sitting with Maddy in my arms crying as she was flailing around because she was kinda panicking from not getting enough oxygen. I finally got her calmed down by holding her close and saying, "Shhh...shhh...shhhh" over and over softly this always calms her. Once she had the oxygen on for a little bit and the nebulizer treatment over she calmed down and her breathing seemed much better.

Dr. Benitez checked her and said she sounded much better and more open but she was going to have to be monitored overnight. If she happened to continue needing oxygen again she would have to be transported to the hospital because when you need oxygen like like your can "crash" quickly. This really freaked me out and I said whatever we need to do , do it. If you think she may need to go to the hospital we can just go there now. He said let's wait and see if we can get it under control here first because they may just send you home if she is doing ok like she is right now.

We settled in at out doctors office they have a TV in the room and Maddy seemed to do better. They checked her and she was getting tight again so they gave the a steroid. Then when Dr. Benitez came in a bit later to check her, her Pulse-Ox (oxygen) numbers were too low again and she needed oxygen again (although to look at her she looked way better than before) so he said, "She has to go to the hospital now." He called Wolfson's and they sent the transport team over to pick us up at our doctors office. When they arrived the EMT's all came in the room and had on masks, it was scary and just seeing that made me tear up. They then put the electrodes on her tummy and chest and Maddy was just holding onto me while they did this and quietly watching them. Next they had to strap her into the stretcher the stretcher had like car seat type straps. She started crying at this time and looking at me holding out her arms towards me saying, "Momma, Momma, Momma!!!!" I thought my heart was going to break. To see her like that just about killed me! Then the EMT's told me that I could ride with them but I had to ride in the front and couldn't ride with her in the back!!!!! At this point I totally fell apart, Maddy was continuing to cry and call and reach for me and I felt SOOOO bad! I gave her a ton of kisses and we got in the ambulance to leave.

As we drove to the hospital I prayed to God please let her be ok, and I thought of Tyler. I thought ok big brother watch over your Mad's she needs you! We got to the hospital and I jumped out of the ambulance to see Maddy. They told me that she did great and watched Shrek the whole way there and her oxygen numbers were doing really good, she didn't need it. Once we got to the hospital she was doing much better, we stayed and they monitored her for about 5 hours during which time she didn't need any more oxygen or breathing treatments. They think that the steroids finally had kicked in. They finally released us to go home at about 2:00 in the morning.

I am happy to say that Maddy is now doing MUCH MUCH better!!!! She still has a little cold and is taking breathing treatments but isn't needing them very often and hopefully in another few days or a week she will be completely off the breathing treatments. I am however concerned that she could possibly be developing asthma. It runs in our family and because she was preemie and had RSV last year at this time I am planning on making an appointment with a pulmonologist to see if they can give me any insight into why she has had these issues multiple times and/or if she had asthma/ what an I do to prevent this. Sooooo..... whew it's been a crazy few days!

Two pics I took on my i-phone while we were at the hospital waiting for Maddy's chest x-ray to come back and trying our hardest to keep little Mad's entertained! Thank goodness for the portable DVD player, she had the wires attached to monitor her so she couldn't get out of the bed and boy did she want to!

Going through this has just made me think again about how blessed we are to have Maddy. When you have lost a child you are so much more aware I think of just how fragile life is and how we don't have any guarantees in life. Thank you GOD for watching over our precious little girl AND taking care of our little boy until we meet again.

The little things

So I came home to this message written on my computer by Matt and Maddy, Aww!!!!

Thank you for all you do. We love you your the best mommy and wife

Love, Us

Back to Work

Well havent blogged this week, mainly because I started back to work full time this past week. It has been pretty hard for me. I wonder if it's even harder because I was able to stay home with Maddy for almost 2 years before having to go back to work full time? I dont know, all I know is that it isn't easy and I hate it! I am just so sad leaving her every morning and I feel like I am missing so much. : (

Thankfully my Mom is the one that is watching her most days and then the days Matt has off he is watching her. I keep trying to tell myself that this is the best for the family so we dont get crazy into debt since we already have a bit on our credit card. And it's only for 11 weeks and then I will be back to working 2 days a week and then off for the whole summer! But those positive thoughts dont really help when I have to say bye to my little girl in the mornings. It's just hard. When I get off work I want to spend ALL of my time with Maddy having quality time, and the same with the weekends! So I have only been getting on the computer mostly after she goes to bed at night! Right now she's napping, my little sweetie!

Here's some pics from the 2 weeks-

at the park with Maddy and my nephews

Maddy and I went to a Mother-Daughter tea with my friend Alexa and her little girl Alivia. It was so cute! My favorite picture in here is of Maddy being silly with the spoon in her mouth! Here we were at this fancy tea and look at Maddy, that's what I LOVE so much about her! Actually I love everything about her!

Rebekah and I also went on a last minute trip with the kids to Moultrie, GA. We met our parents and family there for a funeral. My Grandma's brother passed away. It was a sad trip, funerals are always hard. While there we visited the home that my Great Grandparents used to live in. We have such great memories of trips to their home in Geogia, visiting together, eating homemade pound cake and sweet tea, swinging on the swing underneath the big oak tree, and exploring the huge corn field that thay had out back or "out yonder" as my grandpa Child's used to say. It's sad to see how things change though. The corn field is no longer there and is now being replaced with a pond and the house has had many things changed as well. I wish it was still the way that I remembered it. But I will always have my memories. We also took the kids to Cheehaw Park which was a park we used to go to, they loved it. We were a little rushed though so I hope to go back sometime soon to see it again.

Grandma and Grandpa Child's swinging under the oak tree

On the back steps of their house

Bek and I walking out to the corn field

Cheehaw Park

Potty time???

So lately Maddy has been very curious about potty time things. She always wants to watch when her cousin Josh and her friend Charlie go to the bathroom. And she is very interested in the toilet too (I know, strange huh?). Well then we noticed that whenever she needs to go #2 she has a few places around the house that she likes to go poop in her diaper, like this little corner near the TV, and in her playhouse. And when I ask her, "Do you need to go potty?" she will go to the bathroom to the toilet.

So I thought well maybe now would be a good time to buy her a potty seat and begin at least introducing it to her. So we went to Babies R Us and let her pick out her own special potty seat, she chose Elmo! She was so excited about it! So we get home and go to the bathroom to show her how to use the potty seat. She walks right up to the stool stands on it, pulls up her shirt and leans forward like she is going to go pee! Like a boy!!! It was hilarious! I called for Matt to come in and see her and then I tried showing her that little girls sit on the potty seat not stand. Well she was NOT happy about that.

Now I cant get her to sit on the toilet she just wants to stand! Oh boy! I think that maybe little Miss Maddy is around boys wayyyy to much! Oh well it was a nice try. We are trying to get her to come into the bathroom and SIT on the toilet. I have brought in books, etc but so far we aren't making much progress. I know it's still early though so I'll just wait till she's ready. I just wanted to write this moment out so I always remember it!

Zoo day

Yesterday we went to the Zoo. We have had such cold and then rainy weather lately so we really wanted to get outside! it was supposed to rain but ended up holding off the whole time we were there! I love going to the Zoo it's so much fun and Maddy always is very interested in all the animals! I brought her handy little monkey backpack with us and it worked great this way she could walk all over and explore but still stay close to me so she did this most of the time and then rode in the stroller the rest of the time. She was cracking me up because when we saw the animals she would wave at them and blow them little kisses and then every time we left on animal to go to the next she would say, "Bye-bye" and wave to them!

She was excited about seeing all of animals but when we got to this snake she was a little unsure. It's head was right against the glass and it was slithering around and flicking it's tounge she kept moving backwards away from it one step at a time!

Checking out the anteaters and warthogs.

Maddy watching the HUGE fish swimming by up close and personal!

Komodo Dragons

Maddy signing "more" to me. Whenever she was really excited about what we were doing or ready to go to the next animals she would turn to me and sign "more!"

Maddy and Charlie were also very excited about finding these HUGE leaves. The went on a hunt for them and then ran all around doing "airplane arms" which is something that Daddy taught Maddy where you put your arms out behind you and run like your an airplane!

One of my favorite animals today was the sea otters. They are just so cute! What a great day at the Zoo!

22 months old

Maddy is now 22 months old (in one week she'll be 23 months!) Just wanting to write some updates!Here is what's new with Maddy!

She is beginning to add a few more words to her vocabulary some new words she has learned are:
up

open
night-night
"want that"- in conjunction with pointing towards object
bye-bye
hi
sun
hot- and waves her hand back and forth showing that it's hot
love you- this one melts me!
Ja- for Josh
e-ma for Elmo
ookie for cookie (as in Cookie Monster)
thank you

And she is doing alot more repeating. Like if you say a word and then say, "Maddy say dog." She'll try to say the word. As far as the speech goes we are still planning on taking her for the full evaluation at 2 which by the way is right around the corner! Crazy!

Some of her favorite things are:
Dancing!!! She loves to dance to music in the car and when a song comes on tv
Elmo
Yo Gabba Gabba

Play dough!
Being chased around the house
taking things in and out of containers over and over

playing with Mommy and Daddy in our bed
going to get the mail out of the mailbox
helping Mommy load the dishwasher- she get's soooo excited when I let her help!
bath time
seeing animals of any kind!
her paci
cuddling up on the couch with a blanket- now when she sits with me for a bottle she goes and get's a blanket to curl up with too!
walking her baby dolls around in their little baby stroller
her "Joshy"
M&M's
drinking out of cups with straws

She is also cracking me up with her new thing that she had been doing. At home whenever we are calling the dog we will say, "Come on Barkley!" and pat our hand against our leg a few times. Well the other day Maddy was wanting me to come in the other room with her and she began patting her leg. At first I was thinking, "What in the world is she doing?" Then I realized that she was trying to do that to let me know she wanted me to follow her into the other room! Silly girl!!!

So there are just a few updates on our little girl. Every day with her is definitely an adventure and we love her so much!

*** Venting Post!***

Annoyed with DH today!!! Tell me this... Why is it that:

Whenever I am home with Maddy, DH expects me to do 1001 things in addition to taking care of our little girl but on the days (once in a blue moon) that HE is home with her by himself he can't even get ONE simple task done???

Why is it that WHENEVER we go out to eat I am always the one sitting next to Maddy picking up the toys she continually throws on the floor, keeping her entertained, and then eating my food last half cold while HE sits and has an enjoyable meal???

Why is it that just because he works full time and I only work 2-3 days a week does he expect me to pick up after him??? I dont mind cleaning and picking up after myself and Maddy but YOU ARE A GROWN MAN pick up after yourself!!!!!

Why is it that as Mom's we are always the one doing the "not fun" stuff like giving our kids medicine when they are sick that they hate, using the bulb syringe to clear out their noses, taking the rectal temp, cleaning up after vomiting and diarrhea when they are sick, etc. It would be nice if for once we were the ones that got to be the one to just cuddle them when they are sick and not do the "mean" stuff!

UGHHHH!!!!!! I love being a Mommy and everything that comes with it but I HATE having a lazy husband sometimes!

New Years "inspirations"

So I am not making any New Years Resolutions. I dont know whenever I make actual resolutions and call them that it just stresses me out! I feel like I have this huge task looming over my head at all times sooo.... I am not making any New Years Resolutions instead just writing about a few things that I am going to try to "inspire" myself to work on!

#1 Keep our house cleaner!!!! Oh my goodness I am the WORST about this. As my Mom always says I need to put things away after I take them out. I never do this and then it turns into a big mess.

#2 Try to eat at home a little more often- We eat out entirely too much and the times that we eat at home Matt and I (and Mad's!) always really enjoy it and say we should do this more often!

#3 Getting caught up on my digital scrapbooking so that when I go back to work full time next year (August) I can just scrapbook as we do things and not be so behind!

Do I have more things that I think I need to work on??? YES!!! But I'll just stick with these 3 for now! : )