Maddy's Baptism

Well, today was Madison's baptism. What a special day. Although this is supposed to be a happy day I couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness that we didn't get to expereicen this with Tyler. We did have a baptism done at the hospital for Tyler but we didn't get to do the whole service, etc. So, I woke up today and felt well, just weird. I began to cry missing my little boy and then I looked over at Maddy and began to cry again because I feel that by being sad on her special day I am not being a good mommy to her. I dont want to be the "sad mommy." I want to be the happy mommy for Maddy but how to you hold back your feelings when they are so strong? I am afraid that for the rest of my life I will always have a part of me that is sad and knows that something, someone is missing and my life will never be the same. After feeling down I called my mom who made me feel better then talked to Matt a bit. We went on and Maddy's bpatism was wonderful. The pastor even spoke of Tyler and I was so touched. He told how Maddy's brother Tyler was baptized in the Lord's name as well. Our family and close friends were there and then afterwards we all went out to eat and then had cake. I watched Maddy and thanked God for bringing her to us, I just love her so much. I know that Tyler was watching over us all today and smiling as he watched Maddy being baptized. Early this morning when I woke up it was raining. It made me think of that song, Holes in the floor of Heaven. I have posted the lyrics below. Little guy I know that you were sending us the rain to let us know you were watching and wishing you could be here now. I love you!

Tile :Collin Raye - Holes In The Floor Of Heaven

One day shy of eight years old,
When grandma passed away.
I was a broken hearted little boy,
Blowing out that birthday cake.
How I cried when the sky let go,
With a cold lonesome rain.
My mom smiled, said: "Don't be sad child."
Grandma's watching you today."

'Cos there's holes in the floor of Heaven,"
And her tears are pouring down."
That's how you know she's watching,
"Wishing she could be here now.
"An' sometimes if you're lonely,
"Just remember she can see.
"There's holes in the floor of Heaven"
And she's watching over you and me."

Seasons come and seasons go,
Nothing stays the same.
I grew up, fell in love,
Met a girl who took my name.
Year by year, we made a life,
In this sleepy little town.
I thought we'd grow old together,
Lord, I sure do miss her now.

But there's holes in the floor of Heaven,
And her tears are pouring down.
That's how I know she's watching,
Wishing she could be here now.
An' sometimes when I'm lonely,
I remember she can see.
There's holes in the floor of Heaven,
And she's watching over you and me.

Well my little girl is 23,
I walk her down the aisle.
It's a shame her Mom can't be here now,
To see her lovely smile.
They throw the rice, I catch her eye,
As the rain starts coming down.
She takes my hand; says: "Daddy don't be sad,
'Cos I know Mama's watching now."

"And there's holes in the floor of Heaven"
And her tears are pouring down.
"That's how you know she's watching,
"Wishing she could be here now."
An' sometimes when I'm lonely,
"I just remember she can see."
Yes, there's holes in the floor of Heaven,"
And she's watching over you and me."

Watching over you and me.

Watching over you and me.

Pictures from Maddy's baptism

This blanket was ordered from fillintheblankie.com