Thinking of you...

So, we just got back from a trip to the North Carolina mountains. We had so much fun! It was Maddy's first time in the snow and we stayed in this unbeleivealbe cabin at the top of the mountain with an amazing view! On one of our last days there we were all outside playing in the snow and taking pictures. Matt was playing with Maddy and as he held her in his arms they were looking at each other and just laughing together and I felt so blessed to have both of them. I also felt sad though because Tyler isnt with us. I never got the chance to take him to see his "first snow" and that really hurts. I never got the chance to do so many things with him.... I dont think that I will ever feel completely complete without him. In memory of Tyler I drew a little hearts with wings in the snow and then another one with his name beside it (this heart with wings has a whole story of it's own!). Afterwards I spent some time outside sitting in the snow just thinking about Tyler and being that high up above the world I felt that he was right there and he was listening to me.... I miss you my precious little boy.

The icing on the cake...

Grandpa isn't doing well today. He has been sick for quite a while now and things seem to be going good and then they get bad again. I am so afraid to loose someone else. Loosing Tyler was the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through and now the thought of loosing someone else just isn't fair......

I remember the other day we were all together for Grandpa's 75th birthday. He was doing great and so happy to have all the family together. As most of you who are reading this blog problaby know in the Ford family it is a tradition that Grandpa Ford always gives the kids their very first lick of icing off of the birthday cake! I remember doing this with Grandpa like it was just yesterday! And in a way it wasn't too long ago (he gave me a lick of icing on my wedding day!!!) Well, that day Bek asked me if I was going to let Maddy have her first lick of icing with Grandpa. At first I wasn't sure if Maddy was old enough to eat icing yet, I worry about everything, and am overly cautious lot's of the time about things.... but then Bek said, "You really should let her..." So I did and I am sooo happy that Grandpa and Maddy got to experience that together! And when she is older she will always have the picture of her and Grandpa getting icing together!

So my lesson learned? "Don't be so cautious about things that you miss out on something really special!"

Starting my blog again...

Well, it has been a LONG time since I have done anything with this blog! I read about a website where you can send your entire blog to and get printed into a book so I have decided to try and start writing again! Just a place to write about all the memories I dont want to forget about Maddy as she grows each day and a place to write about our little Tyler and just life in general! Things have been busy. Maddy is already almost 11 months old! I cant beleive it! I remember a time not too long ago when Matt and I felt we would never have a family after all our struggles to get pregnant and now we have Barkley, our precious angel Tyler, and little Miss Maddy. We love our little family! Our Christmas card is below and a pic of Barkley with his Christmas bone!