Today was a long day, Maddy was up last night until about 3am and then didn't take much of a nap this afternoon either leaving her and I both exhausted. When Matt got home from work we decided to go for a drive to pick up Arby's for dinner. I love the drive to the Arby's because it's across this pretty bridge and just nice, on the way Matt asked if I wanted to drive around to the boat docks, and where the shrimping boats and stuff are on the way home. I said sure so after we picked up our food we went for a drive in the rain while eating in the car.
We went past the Jetty's, shrimping boats, and went to the boat dock and showed Maddy all the seagulls. While driving around Matt told me stories about things he used to do when he would come down here with his Gramps. Then we drove to the lighthouse and beside this Matt showed me a place that you can go and watch the Navy Helicopters taking off. Then he quietly said, "This is where I would come sometimes after we lost Tyler." I was surprised. I never knew that he did this. Then he said that yeah he would come here sometimes by himself and just sit. It broke my heart to hear this, and all the memories of those days came rushing back. I felt a little guily that I didn't know that he had done this... I guess that I was just so caught up in my grief that maybe I should have worried about him more. Matt has always been my rock. The early days after we lost Tyler, he was the only thing that kept me going day after day when I wanted to just die and be with my little boy. I dont know what I would do without him. I so wish that he could have his little boy here with him to do all the things that dad's do with their sons. It just makes me so sad.
As we left and started driving back home I was looking out the window lost in my thoughts when I saw a beautiful rainbow across the water! I showed Matt and told him that he had to turn around so I could get out and get a picture! I told him that this was a sign from Tyler telling him that he was thinking about him too... sometimes "just a ride" is so nice.
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