My Sister's Keeper

Tonight I went with the girls to go see the movie My Sister's Keeper. I knew that it was going to be really sad but it looked so good and I wanted to see it anyways. Well, let me just say it was REALLY REALLY sad.... And of course it made me think of Tyler. I saw myself in the Mom in the movie at times. I know this may seem weird but I only wish that I had the chance to spend that much time with Tyler even if alot of the times were hard.

I just feel so cheated... cheated out of my time with Tyler... I should have been able to mother him, watch him grow up, put him to bed at night and watch him sleep so peacefully in his crib. At the end of the movie the little girl says that she doesn't know why this happened... there wasn't a good reason..... my thoughts exactly. Sometimes I wish that someone could tell me WHY God choose to take Tyler. WHY he isn't here. But then I think, you know what? Even if someone told me why it still wouldn't be good enough... there will never be a good enough reason for why I do not have my precious son here with me in my arms...