A day to remember...

So Tyler's 3rd "Heavenly Birthday" is coming up in a little while and I have already begun to do a little planning for it! We are going to have it at a nearby state park called Castaway Island and it's going to be a "Fishing" theme! Castaway Island is right on the water and has a dock that you can fish off of, nature trails, picnic tables, and courtyard. So I thought this would be perfect, I just hope it doesn't rain! We are going to have a cookout there and fishing poles so they guys can fish and the kids can just run around and play or throw rocks in the river, go on the nature trails etc. Plus I will have a little craft where they can paint their own little fishies. (Can you tell I love the paint your own stuff???). We will also have cake or cupcakes and everyone will get a balloon to write a message for Tyler and then we will do a balloon release at the end of the dock.

Some of you may wonder why would I plan a celebration/party like this when Tyler isn't here with us and the thing is, it just feels right to me. It feels right to have a day where our friends and family get together to remember Tyler. A day that is all about him!!! Tyler is a part of our family and he will ALWAYS be a part of our family.

No matter what I do or dont do the anniversary of Tyler's birth will ALWAYS be really hard. I will ALWAYS wish that he was here with me in my arms to spend his birthday with him. I will always long to hold him on his birthday and cuddle him and watch him blow out his candles, I will always wonder, "What would he be into right now? Would he love Yo Gabba Gabba like Maddy does? Or would he be more into cars? What would he look like now at 3 years old? Would he have red hair and blue eyes like his Daddy? What would his personality be like? " It kills me that I will never know these things this side of Heaven but one thing I know for sure. I WILL be with him again one day. And I will never let him go when that time comes! But for now, while I try to make it through each birthday I want to continue having a day just for him our precious, precous little boy. To remember him, to love him..... and I hope that each year he is smiling down from Heaven watching us celebrate his birthday and knowing that we will never forget him and that he is in my heart and on my mind every single day.