Christmas 2009

If I could use ONE word to describe our Christmas this year it would be..... RELAXING!!!!! We really did have such a wonderful Christmas without the usual rushing around like crazy trying to get to a bunch of different houses! We began the morning by waking Maddy up and doing Christmas gifts at our house! Maddy walked into the living room and was so excited to see her Neat and Tidy Cottage playhouse! She thought it was so cool! She was also very impressed with the Princess tent and picnic table. She wanted to open all of her presents at the picnic table! She would pick a gift and then take it to her table to open and then do the same thing again! We opened gifts for what seemed like forever and then just layed around the living room in our PJ's and opened and played with all of Maddy's new things!

After a little while we got dressed and headed to my Grandma and Grandpa Ford's house for Christmas breakfast. Maddy was thrilled to get there and see her buddies Joshy and Will! My Mom read the letter and we had a delicious breakfast and then went outside to visit and take some family pics! Afterwards we came back in and opened gifts and shared lots of memories about my Grandpa that left us ALL in tears! Although they were sad tears they were also happy tears for all of the amazing, wonderful times that we had with Grandpa.

Next, we went to the cemetery to visit Tyler. His little Christmas tree still looked great! We stayed for a little bit and talked with him like we usually do when we visit. I told him about how much I would have loved to have him here with us diving into his Christmas gifts right alongside Maddy. I reminded him to give Gramps (Matt' Grandpa) and Grandpa Ford extra hugs and kisses from us! We headed back home after this and we all took naps! It was so nice!

That evening we went over to my parents house to exchange gifts and we picked up KFC on the way there for dinner since that was the ONLY place we could find that was open on Christmas Day! Had lots of fun at my parents and then spent the rest of the evening together just playing.

We also went to our other Grandparents house on Christmas Eve for dinner and present with the whole family. And the day after Christmas we celebrated with Matt's side of the family because his Dad and brother had to work on Christmas Day.So there is what we did! The best part of Christmas? Having Maddy and Matt to spend it with!

Christmas Blessings!

I want to start my post about Christmas by sharing something that my Mom read on Christmas morning at my Grandma Ford's house before our meal. Most of you know that my Grandpa was in the Navy for 30 years. During his time in the Navy he served in Vietnam. This is a letter that my Mom found that he sent during his time in Vietnam. I dont think that it was a coincedence that my Mom came across this on Christmas Eve. The words towards the end sound like they could have been coming from him from Heaven and it gave me so much peace (along with tears) when I heard them.

December 18, 1966

Dearest Children,

How are all of my Bovers this day ? Sorry I cannot write each of you a separate letter but we have been so busy so hope this will do.

Sandy, remember how when I left you said you were not going to count months but divide them into thirds, well 2/3 are gone and we are on that last 1/3 how about that ?

Di, I bet you giggle just like you did last year - Do you think I can still bring goose bumps on you by my fingernails over you ? I am going to try.

Darlene, I just know you and ole Tom are just having a ball in the snow. Does your nose get cold when you go to school ? Do you walk by yourself ?

Tom, In a few days Christmas will be here and I bet you really tear into those packages this year. Hope Mommie takes pictures of you all.

I told Mommie I was gonna rock you all when I get home. Anyone think they are too big ? Including mommie You think she is too big ?

Well, Guess this will be the last letter till after Christmas, remember what I said before, we are all sad we have to be separated - but - Your Pops is fine and our family will again soon be reunited and I want you all to be happy & not sad. Have fun and enjoy yourselves and we will have another Christmas in April, OK ?

All my love to the best children in the world, you make your Dad so very proud.

Dad

I find comfort in knowing that we will have another Christmas together one day in Heaven.
I am trying to find a scanner so I can scan the actual handwritten letter that my Mom has.

A sick couple of days.....

So, Maddy is sick again with a virus. It amazes me how often little ones can get sick! Haven't blogged in a few days because she has been VERY clingy since she is not feeling good. At least I am getting in lots of good cuddles from it which I LOVE!!! She started out with a fever on and off for about 2 days. Then I took her into the doctor. They said she has a virus, gave me an anti-viral Rx. She started on the Rx and it gave her diarrhea!!! Now she has a bad diaper rash from the diarrhea. And on top of all of that she has about 4, yes 4 teeth coming in. Geez!!!! We just cant seem to catch a break! Poor thing, I am just hoping that she will feel better by Christmas! I have to say though that today and even yesterday a little she has seemed to be feeling better!

In other news! We have been pretty busy doing lot's of fun "Christmas" things!

We went and picked out our Christmas tree and then decorated it!

Putting up the lights at church and visiting nativity-

Setting up our nativity at home- kisses for Baby Jesus!Our Snoopy nativity that Aunt Bekah got us this year in memory of Tyler!

Getting our Christmas pictures taken

Decorating Tyler's tree

Visiting Santa

And this afternoon is our annual family baking day at my Aunt's house! I love the Christmas season!

Wordless Wednesday

Butterfly kisses from Heaven

Tonight I want to the Infant Loss support group meeting with my friend Beth. Every year at Christmas time they have a special meeting where we make ornaments and light candles in memory of our angels. Beth and I have made it a tradition to go together and we usually go to eat dinner before the meeting. It was so nice to have a night that was all about Tyler and her daughter Sarah and the angels of the other families there.

The thing that is so sad about these meetings is every time there is someone new there that has lost a child. Many people there are at different stages in their grief. Some of the mothers had just recently lost their child and as I watched them I remembered how I was at that point in my grief. It took me back to those really hard days right after loosing Tyler that I couldn't even get out of the bed. I feel like I have come a long way with my grief although it is not something that EVER goes away. I think of Tyler every SINGLE day but in ways it has become easier to live with. I am now able to think of Tyler at times and smile and not always be sad when I think of him. I can smile when I remember how happy we were the day we found out that we were pregnant, and how it felt to hold his precious little hand in mine.

The holidays are always so hard though. Everyone is happy and enjoying the season and I cant help but thinking about Tyler and how our life would be like if he and Maddy were both here this year. I know that he is watching over us from Heaven and this year he will be able to spend it with Grandpa Ford too. Missing them both soooo much!

There are 4 members of our family....

.... not 3!!!! So feeling grumpy today. I got our first Christmas card in the mail and opened it up to find three little hand drawn stars with the names Maddy, Matt, and Candace above each star. Now ok I dont expect for everyone who sends me a Christmas card to address it with Tyler's name in the front but if your going to draw a "family" thing then include Tyler!!!! He is our son too!!!! It is just so wonderful when friends and family remember Tyler and include him the best they can and SO hard when they forget to....

Missing you Tyler as Christmas get's closer. It's so hard to spend the holidays without you, our son who should be here with us. = (

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Oh how I LOVE this movie!!!! We watch it every year! Tonight Bek, Eddie, and the boys came over and we all watched it together movie style with all the lights out and I always love it! I must say Linus(and his blankie!) and of course Snoopy are my absolute favorites!

In other updates Maddy has been on a roll with her talking today! Yay!!!!!! We have been really working with her every single time she does the, "ugh....ugh..." to either point to exactly what she wants or say the word or even part of the sounds in the word after hearing us say it and just today she said "donut" at my Mom's and also repeating back to you after you say it first ok here it comes................................. "love you!!!!!" Awwwww!!!! It melts my heart!!!! She has also been saying, "want that" Yay, go Mad's!

Wordless Wednesday

Something new...

Ok, so for this first post it wont actually be wordless but for the rest of them it will be! I have seen on quite a few blogs a thing called Wordless Wednesday and I think it's really neat. It's where every Wednesday you post a picture with no words. It can be a picture of anything that you want, something pretty, something meaningful, something you have been thinking about, a favorite pic, whatever you want! I will probably forget and not do it every Wednesday but when I remember I am going to try and do it!

Early Steps

So today Maddy had her appointment with Early Steps. It was for a pre-screening to see if she needed any speech/language therapy. I wanted her evaluated because I just felt that she isn't saying as many words as she should be at this time. She knows about 10-15 words. When she wants something she is most often doing the.... ugh....ugh.... to try and show what she wants. Well, I was pretty sure that she would qualify for it and then they would send a therapsit to the house once a week to work with her. Well.... they said that for right now she doesn't need it. = (

I know I should be excited that they think she is doing well with her language but as her Mommy I am the only who sees her frustration daily when she wants something and cannot tell me what it is she wants! She mainly didn't qualify because her receptive languge skills (understanding and comprehending things) is GREAT!!! If you tell her to get something or do something she understands completely so she was mastering all that stuff but it's just the expressive part that she struggles with (actually speaking). They said that they can go ahead and do the formal evaluation now that goes more in depth to see if she qualifies but they suggest waiting until she is 2, which is 3 months from now and having her do the formal evaluation. And in the meantime they gave me a book of activites and things to work with her on. So..... trying to decide what to do!!! I am leaning towards waiting the 3 months but I dont know! Argh!!!

On a positive note I was SOOOO proud of Maddy today with the screening she did so good and was such a little cutie performing all the tasks like, Go get the baby doll and bring it to me, stacking blocks, sitting in the chair to read a book, just lost of stuff! Every time she would do something she would look over her shoulder at me and give the cutest little grin! Too bad I didn't have the camera with me! She is such a blessing who knew you could love someone so much!!!!!